I woke up last night with nightmares about the world…. of war and famine, and the earth becoming a dessert with rivers dried up… i sat up, sweat, and tears on my cheeks. Soldiers, News reports of bombs and people’s faces in pain in torment, I kept shaking my head and trying to shake it off.
“Oh my god” I said, in a state between wake and sleep. ” What is going on here?”
My gaze fell to the moonlight touch the faces of my children and I felt so worried so hopeless, and filled with what ifs, my dreams of oceans eating the land and the pain that was to come. The face of Donald trump…. The face of every man and woman in these times who got so lost along the way…. the face of the other… that was in fact a part of me and there was nothing i could do about it.
And i as i sat and listened to the silence.
I muttered a half sentence of “Well What the hell is the point of me doing anything!”
I sat quietly…. i tried to pray. I tried to sing. I tried to just listen my breath…but nothing would shake it off.
I sat quietly and rode the wave.
I felt eaten up. I felt hopeless.I felt sucked into it all.
And out of the moonlight came a voice. ” Oh my dear one.. take a breath.”
I took a breath.
I took another breath, then another.
And out of the stillness came her whispering voice.
This has all been happening for a very long time, sometimes people feel it closer to home than others…. but this matter is not outside of yourself, believe me or not. And until all of you begin to choose a different route and finally open the sacred chiseled wooden door of loves beauty and close the other to your fears…Until you begin to Listen to the lessons that are before you, sitting at your knees as a beggar calling out for you learn. Until you look the sickness straight in the eye and say no more…. This ends with me. Until you truly embrace what this journey is actually about…..Well until then, this may just happen for a while longer, and a while longer, and a while longer….. and a while longer
And through your time here in this while longer, you must love dear one….
Well what if i cant, i cut in, rolling my eyes groggilly. What if its just too much. It just seems to be getting worse and worse….the polar ice caps melting, the nuclear waste in the ocean, dumpsters full of food while people starve, the oil companies beating people praying and singing, the oil spills, the children in sweatshops, that make our clothes, the racism, the sexism, the pharmaceutical industry, the children being drugged up because they can’t sit still for 8 hours a day…. the pornography that has created a rape culture, the vegetables spliced with pig genes. The darkness that seems to be eating everyone up from the inside out.
And what about my grandchildren? What kind of world will they inherit? What will be left for them?
Well dear one, Your grandchildren will be on their own journey…. and they will likely be faced with similar choices…. and it will be up to them and their communities to learn or not learn…. But the future as you imagine is shaped by the present moment. And you are right when you say that this is happening from the inside out. As this is truly an inside job.
And In case you have not noticed, The universe is very very Patient. : ) And patience births miracles such as planets like this.
And though there will be suffering ahead of us….. remember there has always been suffering, it’s just part of the journey for now, and it is how we face our suffering that creates a change in our hearts song. It is how we face adversity that merits this journey forward.
The quiet in the room suddenly became so loud i had to sigh. I felt restless, and confused and As amazing and beautiful as my life was. As much as i loved my path with days that i could burst with gratitude. As positive and heart centered as i tried to guide my feet. In this moment, even with the company of angels at my bedside, I felt like giving up, climbing into a hole that i had dug for myself , and hibernating until it was all over.
I listened quietly to the sound of my breath.
Listen to me….
I’m listening i whispered half awake as my hands rubbed my eyes.
NO, Really listen to me….
Dear ones,Your job is more important now than ever. Go and Tell all those it is so. Tell All the Healers, tell all the Visionaries, all the Medicine people, tell the Dreamers, Seers, Artists, tell the Prayer Warriors, the Poets, the Story Tellers, the Meditators, the radical Educators, tell the courtiers of Music, tell the Fire keepers, the Keepers of rituals and Magic, the Holders of ceremonies and Priests and Priestesses of Wisdom. Just as the farmers grow food, and the builders build houses, you will weave a tapestry of spirit for these times.
You will rise up in this darkness and you will sing your songs that touch the broken-hearted. You will hold the dying in the palms of your poems. You will heal the sickness with medicines from the rain, sun, soil and winds.You will be carriers of lost knowing and story. You will be the flags of remembrance that write on the barren concrete walls….
And you will remind your fellow human family that defeat is not an option… And that we must rise only together not apart.
All of you.
Now is your time.
Now your work begins with so many in a new way
Do not get eaten by it….that is exactly what it wants… You can feel it, and you will feel it, but do not let it consume you…..there is a war, you need to know this… and in university they told you it was capitalism, and patriarchy and neo-liberalism…. they told you this was history, and your history will repeat and repeat and repeat itself because again the lessons continue unlearnt.
You must understand that there is war on the human spirit…..
A war that wants us to hate each other. Destroy each other. Compare ourselves to each other. Compete with each other, and be so busy, so hazed in the confusion that we forget why we are here in the first place. It is everywhere.
In these times you need to stand tall, shield yourself in the ways that see through the deceptions and embrace true compassion. Carry your weapons. So that whoever throws a knife in your side, will be sliced with a sword seeded with joy and welcoming hands and Laughter.
Do not forget. You have known this since the day you came, and some of you got lost along the way. But the lost will be found and You must be resourceful in the ways of the heart.
Put away the divisiveness. Put away the judgment. Lock it up. Bury it, break it with axes made of pine and cedar branches, as they open their arms with full offering to be slain with whole purpose.
You are a part of this. You incarnated in this form at this time for a reason….. Accept it.
And well very simply your greatest calling now …… is that you must love dear ones.
Don’t mind what people think of you. Don’t mind the debate, or the over intellectual approach to solve an issue that can only be healed with the heart.
You must love my dear ones…
It is what is being asked of ALL of you….
Love can be fierce, it can mobilize masses and gather the people’s unbound…. and love can be silent in stillness of sweet peace, but love always chooses what is true. It always chooses what is right… love always chooses itself.
You must love dear ones…..love in ways that you never knew were possible
Be strong warriors….be like the mountains and know your grandness.
Give beyond measure without need of recognition….Like the rivers that carry sweet waters to quench your thirst.
Serve those who need it, and have forgotten their power. Like the seeds in the earth that know their only duty is to grow up towards the sun.
Gather with those who remember, so you will never forget, that the dust in which makes you is from the stars.
When you feel like it’s too much. Be quiet. Be still and watch the ocean kiss the shores…. put your hands on the wet earth and sing to her. Look into your children’s eyes and see the world through their magic. Whatever happens, do not ever lose hope.
Love yourself deeply and all you are. Honour yourself as a sacred feast at the Goddesses Table.
Feed yourself, and feed your family and feed your community and all people this food.
Trust and have faith in the brilliance of the human spirit….
You must Love my dear ones… learn to love …. Learn to love in ways you never knew…. now is the time. Practice this every day. Every moment.
This is the whole reason for your existence …. You are here to learn to Love with its many faces.
This is it.
You are here to learn to Love……
I found myself listening to my own breath, I watched the moonlight, the sounds of sleeping babes and rustling leaves.
I looked around the room. Shook my head out of the daze of altered universes and voices in the moonlight.
Cross-legged. Back tall and straight. i looked out the window to the silhouette of the Forrest before me…
“Yes” I said in a whisper. Shaking my head to the subtle rhythm of truth.
Yes…. My answer is Yes. …